Mark Martin wins the Daytona 500 and announces he’s signed a 10-year extension with Hendrick racing.

Kyle Busch wins 18 regular season races and still manages to miss the Chase.

In a part time schedule Michael Waltrip wins every race he enters.

Jimmy Johnson wins zero races, snaps, and murders Chad Knaus.

Denny Hamlin and Brad Leselowski turn out to be brothers, just like Cain and Abel.

Darrell Waltrip decides being in broadcasting is “Unfulfilling,” he quits and opens up a hot-dog stand at Kentucky Speedway. 13647 fans die from food poisoning.

In a twist of irony, Jeff Gordon retires and Danica Patrick makes her Cup debut in the 24 car at Indianapolis and wins the Brickyard 400.

In a scandal which rocks ESPN, Dr Jerry Punch turns out not to be a doctor at all.

RCR and Roush qualify ALL of their cars for the Chase, but still lose out to:

…Dale Earnhardt qualifies for the Chase with zero wins, but wins all 10 races in the Chase and, of course, the Chase Championship. He announces he owes it all to the love of a good woman named Danica, who he loves above all else and that they secretly married the day after she won the Brickyard 400. He goes on to say, he’s retiring as a driver to manage her career and she will be the number one driver for Patrick JR Motorsports, their newly formed race team.

Gonna be a Hellova 2010 race season… Or not.